MEMORIES OF MISS A.L.M. from Sellwood Middle School 1984 and 1985 re-discovered in the 2020’s . 9-30-2021 10:15 pm PDT RE-edited radically: , and also sometime around 1974.

This music by Seals and Crofts who are long devout American Bahais triggers my better sense to emphasize the urgency of the ongoing Crusade what this entire blog /whistleblowing project REALLY, REALLY, REALLY Is: Emphasis FROM THE HEART the kind travesty of essential evolutionary life opportunities denied! Please Pay attention to the lyrics and really get a sense for true Love that Bahai Marriage brings: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sealscrofts/rubyjeanandbillielee.html. Many times I’ve gone off the deep end in raging disbelief and fury that certain women attractive to me are beyond my ability to impress as Bahai husband material, absolutely hating my shortcomings and damage done to me that I did not choose, in many kinds of furious ways, determined to account for and absolve myself from my parents’ and step parents’ disgraceful disrespect done to me, much to my further detriment. This Blog entry especially is another attempt to express that betrayal and dissappointment from betrayal. Its another expression of lamenting a little more tactfully and potently honestly than I did in the past: Seals and Crofts “Ruby Jean and Billy Lee”:

The girl peer from Sellwood Middle School 1984 and 1985 where I went to school, I describe here as Miss A.L.M. resonates as attractive to me deeply in a very exceptional way as someone beyond my ability to describe, even though I think I’m mature enough to accept we were never meant to be. Words can’t describe that intense masculine competitive Virility perceiving intense coveted opportunities to mate with the best female to such degree that the best and righteously compatible woman partner was denied, and why I have such utter persistent righteous indignation to crush and vilify the extreme child abuse that is willfully done by certain criminally negligent parents and a disgusting society pushing extreme gender estrangement in a slow kill genocidal fashion. Undoubtably there’s those who flippantly and callously are convinced this blog is the ramblings of a “booty mad” nobody “incel”, “cockblocked” “beta male” and loser. To which my response to those adversaries, especially those attitudes of all those similar parents and step parents of whom I can still remember and am still plagued with memories of their contemptuous ruthlessly condescending tone belittling me, is at least I’m nothing like your complacency. There’s enough ANECDOTES that I’m quite aware of areas of their lives where I know they were all quite content being mediocre peon slaves and sellouts who railroad and fleece their own children. I can remember everything about their predatory utter arrogance from their position of power as relative to my position powerlessness and learned helplessness as an object of their pity haunted with the stigma of shocking abuse in double bind inability to explain to them prior abuse, as they were convinced they were doing me a tremendous favor as their indebted powerless child orphan in no position to risk daring biting the hand that feeds him. There’s nothing impressive about your #fakebahai world of shit lifestyle riddled with the worst arrogant Boomer narcissist abusive pathology imaginable. These parents and step parents blatantly favored certain siblings and step siblings of mine. Nothing impresses me about just about anyone else non-Bahai or Bahai with your undoubtably flawed and shamelessly unacceptable situations you subject children towards, the worst anathema being pedophile enabling scumbags . History will absolve me.

Ironically in that same Music Concert with Seals and Crofts of 1974 there were some of my other longtime favorite highly talented bands of a bygone era that performed at that 1974 California Jam. Emerson, Lake, and Palmer (ELP) was there too and they did a piece called “Take a Pebble”. The Piano Piece by Keith Emerson really hits a nerve as to the kind of anguish and Travesty that any Parent would be so desensitized blind and sadly misguided as to fail to protect their own Child from being an Evolutionary Dead End. JUST TAKE A PEBBLE (3 MINUTE CALIFORNIA JAM VERSION)

Studio recorded version of “Take a Pebble” especially at this 5:45 minute part https://youtu.be/SrYbfQRlfwQ?t=346 where Keith Emerson is on Fire lamenting in an intense Piano rift: may it resonate across the world and touch A.L.M.’s children, nephews, and nieces heart as well as many of my distant cousin nieces and cousin nephews the Vitriolic sense of Anguish of unforeseen cause and effect as time marches on in this Godforsaken World https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/emersonlakepalmer/takeapebble.html :

“And if he met the fairest and most comely of women, he would not feel his heart seduced by the least shadow of desire for her beauty. Such a one, indeed, is the creation of spotless chastity. Thus instructeth you the Pen of the Ancient of Days, as bidden by your Lord, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful. -Baha’u’llah https://www.bahai.org/bahaullah/articles-resources/from-gleanings-writings-bahaullah

(Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, LX)

“One must judge of search by the standard of the Majnún of Love. 11 It is related that one day they came upon Majnún sifting the dust, and his tears flowing down. They said, “What doest thou?” He said, “I seek for Laylí.” They cried, “Alas for thee! Laylí is of pure spirit, and thou seekest her in the dust!” He said, “I seek her everywhere; haply somewhere I shall find her.”
Yea, although to the wise it be shameful to 7 seek the Lord of Lords in the dust, yet this betokeneth intense ardor in searching. “Whoso seeketh out a thing with zeal shall find it.” 12”

FROM THE TEXT OF tHE 7 Valleys by Baha’u’llah One must judge of search by the standard of the Majnún of Love. [Literally, Majnún means “insane.” This is the title of the celebrated lover of ancient Persian and Arabian lore, whose beloved was Laylí, daughter of an Arabian prince. Symbolizing true human love bordering on the divine, the story has been made the theme of many a Persian romantic poem, particularly that of Nizámí, written in 1188-1189 A.D.] It is related that one day they came upon Majnún sifting the dust, and his tears flowing down. They said, “What doest thou?” He said, “I seek for Laylí.” They cried, “Alas for thee! Laylí is of pure spirit, and thou seekest her in the dust!” He said, “I seek her everywhere; haply somewhere I shall find her.” 11
Yea, although to the wise it be shameful to seek the Lord of Lords in the dust, yet this betokeneth intense ardor in searching. “Whoso seeketh out a thing with zeal shall find it.” [Arabian proverb.]

THERE’S NOTHING LIKE THE QUITE LIKE THE DELUSIONS AFTER OVERREACTING TO AN UNACCEPTABLE REALITY DRIVING MEN MAD

SCAMDEMIC REPORT 04-23-2022 MM-DD-YYYY

https://www.bahai.org/library/authoritative-texts/bahaullah/seven-valleys-four-valleys/

ONCE AGAIN i am Tempted to IDOLIZE THIS UNKNOWN ANGEL MISS A.L.M. https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2021/02/someones-50th-birthday-in-worlds-tribute.html THIS GRACEFUL JOYFUL WOMAN OF UNKNOWN MYSTERY, THIS NARCISSISTIC OBSESSION of my own Mind. THIS TWISTED MYSTIQUE,.THIS MUSE,
THIS ABSOLUTE A.L.M. as an angel, an iconic angel, an antidote of ecstasy in my mind rescuing me FROM THE HORROR of multi-generational EXtreme Child ABUSE. SHE IS THIS FAIRY TALE OF UN – Describable, PROPORTIONS THIS SIREN IN MY OWN MIND AND MY OWN IMAGINATION TRULY IS TO ME and how things MIGHT have been different if I wasn’t surrounded by so many Tyrants in childhood.

Some therapists suggest taking time machine trips in memories to redeem the much regretted remorseful past as though I was there in the moment redeeming and absolving myself from the Trauma.

I shamelessly ripped off this abstract psychedelic image of a Woman as a Tree with leaves and branches

off from Miss ALM’s sister’s social media page because to me it means My North Node and Mars Conjunct Her Moon.

9-29-2021 The Tree image Also means this to me 3 minutes into this especially https://youtu.be/LIR3QAkIKT8?t=186

where this Young Bahai Woman talks about a fruit tree. Stalker I am? To some degree GUILTY AS CHARGED!, but not a deluded Stalker, rather a pragmatic realistic stalker determined to account for the price of cruel parents and #fakebahais. Is this account unethical? These doxing of these individuals? D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. ? So much is too little too late lost, that not much else is left to lose. What collateral damage of this truth bomb could possibly make anyone’s situation much worse?

I’m pretty sure either Miss A.L.M. her, her mother or 1 of her sisters or other women in her family drew this:

02-23-1985 She just turned 14, I am 13 years 5 months old living in the Household of Don Wind and Linda Wind (A.K.A. Canuckistanian Fatbitch and her truck driver tool dolt of a husband ) Linda was born in B.C. Canada, but her family moved to Southern California. Canada “Canuckistan”: the Country just North that still worships the infamous British Monarchy ran by a cuntwitch Queen). This video of Canadian comedy was Linda’s condescending tone almost exactly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiNuevxhvks

re: STEP sister Sundari Thriloka Wind (thrice Loki’s Daughter?) to put her Scandinavian heritage into perspective) who I haven’t even seen since 1987, Daughter of Canuckistanian Fat bitch (Linda Wind). IS she mother LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER? I cannot help wonder. Is she Daughter like Father? Mad workaholic Capricious Capricorn truck Driving Tweaker, drug addict, violently abusive Father? Is she Hybstrophiliac Whore for the Rothschild company Thomas Reuters ? Goldy Locks Barbie Doll / Rapunzell? Perceptions of overprivilege, slut whore riding sugar daddy cock? snobbery, and pain, unknown horrible price of fame, all boon and bane, knows no bound from my perceptions of whatever her unknown fate is. I can’t overemphasize how much Linda had this tone of voice almost exactly:

And there’s the whole Goldy Locks 2nd Born Golden Child herself Mrs. Wind, Miss Wind Junior, and TruckDriver Tweaker Dad Center to both her parents. Bitch almost looks like Chelsea Clinton (utterly repulsive as soon as I SAW MISS ALM! ).

https://bahaipdxwitness1984.wordpress.com/2020/06/10/623/ from the perspective of little old alleged “incel”guy like me? is she naughty or is she nice? Is she dingbat Karen psychopath that makes me think twice?

Again I must juxtapose the IRONY OF CHRISTIE APHRODITE:

And why not juxtapose my ex girlfriend: Jennifer Elaine Blanchard? J.E.B. got the JAB! this is distortion of her stupid facebook avatar:

Derek and Clive on the use of the word “Conniving Ubiquitous Neurotic Tyrant”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfFveC7he3E

LINK https://www.deviantart.com/spiralcosmosart/art/HalfaCenturyOld-892157036

https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2021/09/celebrating-half-century-of-life.html , rather also more importantly as Valiantly thoroughly described and dramatized in countless beautifully sometimes self deprecating videos by “Sacred Clown / Soul Sister” Christie Aphrodite. Halfwit Military Brat MVP high school softball

pitcher WHOSE HOMETOWN IS MILITARY BRAT GRAND CENTRAL: SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA “Christie Aphrodite” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsxwwhJ6GrY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsxwwhJ6GrY

And of Course good Christie is all over giving a shit about this to continue her most selfless devotion against trafficking of Mexican Girls in migrant camps in San Diego 14 years ago.:

” Every child matters September 30th is the Day for Truth and Reconciliation, also known as Orange Shirt Day. If you’re an Indigenous ally, take this day [and every day] to learn more about the historical and current realities of Indigenous Peoples -For content on Residential Schools, visit the following sites: https://legacyofhope.ca

#EveryChildMatters #ResidentialSchools #TruthBeforeReconciliation #OrangeShirtDay #MoreThanOneDay

IN 1984 through April of 1985 I lived in the Winds Household because my criminally negligent parents were such criminally negligent (somewhat semi-conscious pedophile enablers) that I had no better discernment, to take the offer and, unbeknownst to me, to live with a no less criminally negligent family of (somewhat semi-conscious pedophile enablers). But if it were not for that Household and the Uncanny Brilliant Persuasiveness of My Stepmother since Deceased Linda Wind (who was also a Sun Pisces, but Linda had Sun Opposite Saturn in Virgo), I would not have the enchanted strong sense of attraction for Miss A.L.M. https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2021/02/someones-50th-birthday-in-worlds-tribute.html , despite of all odds against the kind of Virginity children are suppose to have before they grow up and be adults and enter marriage that only truly loving parents could bring . In that household where I lived in 1984 & 1985 were 2 step siblings Vimal and Sundari Wind who knew of A.L.M. and knew of the feelings I had for her and why. At Sellwood Middle School I remember feeling awestruck and infatuated at the site of A.L.M. a most adorable drop dead gorgeous young woman with dilated Dark Belladonna Eyes, a Pisces Sun, and Aquarius Moon like Shoghi Effendi: https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2021/02/someones-50th-birthday-in-worlds-tribute.html

LINK 1ST OF MARCH 1897 https://bahai-library.com/khanum_priceless_pearl&chapter=1

The intense Pisces Eyes with an Aquarius Moon is what I have came to know as similar to Miss A.L.M.’s beautiful Doe-like dialated Belladonna Eyes. The Widow of the Late Guardian Amatu’l Bahai Ruhiyah Khan writes about her husband:

“His eyes were of that deceptive hazel colour that sometimes led people who did not have the opportunity to look into them as often as I did to think they were brown or blue. The truth is they were a clear hazel which sometimes changed to a warm and luminous grey. I have never seen such an expressive face and eyes as those of the Guardian; every shade of feeling and thought was mirrored in his visage as light and shadow are reflected on water. When he was happy and enthusiastic over something he had a peculiar habit of opening his eyes wide enough to let the upper rim of the iris show and this always made me think of two beautiful suns rising above the horizon, so brilliant and sparkling was their expression. Indignation, anger and sorrow could be equally clearly reflected in them, and alas, he had cause to show these too in his life, so beset with problems and sorrows. His feet were as beautiful as his hands, small like them, high arched, and giving that same impression of strength.” https://bahai-library.com/khanum_priceless_pearl&chapter=10

Words can’t describe the kind of strange circumstances that led me to failing at bothering to discover if my feelings for Miss A.L.M. ever meant anything.

About this
California Jam” Gig of Seals and Crofts performing, serenading, and doing do diligence describing the Ecstacy of Bahai Marriage In 1974, Within 5 months later IN late August Saint Louis, Missouri there was a great Bahai Conference my parents took me to hear Seals and Crofts perform 1974, and hear Amatu’l-Baha Ruhiyyah Khanum speak. I was barely 3 years old and the story that I slightly remember was that I ran towards old RK the Widow of The Beloved Guardian, disregarding all protocol, knowing Amatu’l-Baha RK had a handle on harmonious gender roles of 2 wings of 1 birds above and beyond my sadly misguided parents.

1987 February around the same time of year 2 years later. I am in the Household of Doug and Carol Haines (also somewhat semi-conscioius criminally negligent pedophile enablers). I remember writing a letter to Miss Alm telling how Scott, myself and some fellow mischievious punks (all born around between 1970 to 1973) toilet papered a strange fat lady’s having a party with named “Jeannie” from (Jeanie was part of the scheduled graduating class of Molalla High School 1990, as was Scott and I) with fellow classmates at their house down the road from our home at Fat Gelding Ranch on 25105 Eldorado Road . That was the 1 and only letter I did send to A.L.M.

Words can’t describe the kind of strange circumstances that led me to failing at bothering to discover if my feelings ever meant anything for MISS A.L.M. https://astrologyobservations.blogspot.com/2021/02/someones-50th-birthday-in-worlds-tribute.html with the kind of shattered inner shame inflicted on me by those pedophile enabling halfwit dipshit #fakebahais boomer parents and step parents inconsiderate of those kind of feelings, quite content to make their eldest SON an Evolutionarly DEAD END!

1987 February around the same time of year. I am in the Household of Doug and Carol Haines. I remember writing a letter to Miss A.L.M. telling how Scott (my step brother) , myself and some fellow mischievious punks toilet papered a strange fat lady neighbor’s house (in good fun) not far from the Eldorado Road Horse Ranch in Mulino, Oregon. That was the 1 letter I did send to Sweet Miss A.L.M. that may have never arrived because Carol Haines was such a resentful Horse Sadist cunt witch determined to subjugate all who interfere with the competitive advantageous of her golden child studbeast lankey younger of 2 Sons, whatever the cost, but that’s a little bit of a stretch given the kind of “crazy train” I seemed to be going off the rails of sooner or later way back in the 1980’s culminating into 1996.

#EveryChildMatters#ResidentialSchools#TruthBeforeReconciliation#OrangeShirtDay#MoreThanOneDay